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Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Demon Wanted: Inquire Within

Why is everybody so fucking squeamish about demonic activity?

Today I was at the local bar getting my hot wings when somebody mentioned something about their house being haunted.  I normally don't talk to anybody in bars because usually they're drunk and saying stupid shit.  Most bar conversations are really just advertisements for low IQs.

But no, this one got my attention, so I asked her about it.

"So this started about three months ago.  Now in the middle of the night I get knocking on my walls."

"How many knocks?"

"Three at a time.  Always in threes."

"Any foul smells?"

"Yes!  We get this horrible smell all the time!"

I guess I was smiling.  I hadn't realized it.

"Why are you smiling?  Do you think I'm joking?"

"No.  I'm smiling because I think you have a demon."

The lady had a stupid look on her face anyways but she really seemed confused now.

"So why are you smiling?"

"Because demons are cool and I've been looking for one.  When can I come over?"

After that, the lady started quoting the Bible and saying she was going to call her priest to come over or whatever.  I was too pissed off to pay attention after that.

I've been looking for a demon for years.  Do you realize how hard they are to find?  I once got really excited because I'd heard about some kid that possessed but then the family got an exorcism and that was the end of that.  Really pissed me off, too.

So if anybody has a demon in their house, or the know of one, please let me know.

Thanks!

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