Sunday, March 8, 2015

Runnin' With The Devil

I got in trouble at work again for buying souls in the break area.  It used to be a simple sort of business.  Somebody needed money and would be going around panhandling.  Eventually they came to me and I would offer the money they asked for in exchange for their soul.  They would laugh, agree, and I would whip out the contract.  Standard contract, really.

I had purchased several souls that week and somebody complained.  So, a manager had to come talk to me.  I usually have to have these "talks" once every few months.

"Ted," the manager asked me in a tired voice.


"Are you buying souls in the break area again?"

"Maybe.  How much do you need?"

Then she rolled her eyes at me and told me to knock it off.  Apparently there had been some complaints.  Seems like I'm always getting into trouble for little shit like that.

Nobody cares about their soul anymore.  Especially stupid kids who have never even been into a church let alone religiously educated.  I'm not a religious guy myself despite being forced into Catholic schools for years.  I am well versed in the Church of Rome.

The greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing the world he didn't exist.

We've heard this before.

I remember as a child the neighbors kept changing their religion.  They were an interesting family.  The husband and wife were swingers.  She was a beautiful redhead who always seemed a breath away from going batshit crazy at any moment.  Their son and I were friends for a while.  He was a good guy but a bit strange.  All the religious changes really had an effect on him.

One day he was telling me about The Devil.  It was the usual tripe we heard from religious people.  Red, scaly skin, horns, was always hiding around some corner and waiting to attack.  We were kids at the time but for some reason I really found it comical.

Most of the stuff about Lucifer I've seen is comical.  Even The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey seemed cartoonish and silly.  In fact, most of what he wrote about wasn't even Satanism--it was atheism.  His indictment was against all religions.

I think that's why I loved discovering the band Ghost so much.  They treated the devil with respect and honor.  They worshiped him and glorified him.  Papa Emeritus II performed mass to herald the coming of the Ancient Serpent Deceiver as masses stand in awe.

I've just recently finish reading The Demonologist:  The Extraordinary Life of Ed & Lorraine Warren by Gerald Brittle.  This book is a fascinating look at exorcisms and the deals people make with Lucifer.  Brittle, a former priest, lets the Warrens tell their story and educate the reader about all the ugly details of demons, and the trouble people get themselves into.  More often than not, people invite a demon into their lives by using occult practices, like Ouija boards and seances.  One man used an old mirror to perform some advanced occulus spells and let a demon into his house.  And perhaps the ugliest case in the book is where a girl spoke to a spirit on a Ouija board for a year and then let him out.  The demons then terrorized the family and destroyed their home.

One of the interesting facts I found was how people are often ripped off by the demons.  People will cash their paychecks and put the cash in their pockets only to have that money stolen.  To where?  Ed Warren points out that often times, sorcerers will receive that money, as part of their pact with Satan.

So, I've got these souls.  Contracts people have signed giving me their souls.  I'm wondering what kind of deal I can make with these souls.  It's a valuable currency--far more valuable than anything these people can imagine.

I have big ambitions.  I'm going to need to buy a few more souls.  In the end, I will claim that which is mine, and people shall weep and cry out for mercy.  And the answer will be a single whisper.  "Noooooo."    

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