Sunday, July 31, 2016

Came in Like a Creepy Van

Last night a group of people claiming to be my friends forced me to drink heavily and partake of other substances until I could barely walk in what I can only assume was an effort to scramble my brains.

It started off well enough.  It was a tribute for a young man who died way before it was his time.  His whole family was there, plus a few good bands, and I knew most of the people in the bar.  I started off conservatively with a white russian because when you're in a bowling alley, what else should one drink?

But then they started refilling my glass over and over again.  I kept trying to empty it and they kept filling it.  But I was smart and figured if I consumed all of the vodka the bar carried, they wouldn't be able to give me more white russians.

I lost count after six.

And then they started forcing me to do Jagerbombs.

I was good up until the seventh one.  After that, things became a bit hazy.  So, I went outside to get some air with friends, but they had other ideas.  

But before that, I saw somebody I just had to get to know better.  Ever have that happen?  It did for me.  I just had to get to know her.  So, I used my Sith powers to compel a friend to introduce us, and it all went downhill after that.  

She and I hit it off well, which in Van-speak means she didn't pepper spray me in the face and call the cops.  And while I normally wouldn't have anything to do with a woman who had standards so low as to want to spend time talking to a guy like me, things went well.  

She joined us outside, too.  

And the group of us talked.  

After that, I'm not sure what happened.  I remember this beautiful but evil woman forcing me to drink shots with her.  I think at one point she even told me her name.  I was in the deep end of the pool and not doing well.  

But not wanting to be rude, I drink the shots.  All of them.  

And there were some beers afterwards, I believe.  

The rest is hazy.  I remember being in a van that wasn't mine.  I remember coming home.  

But I've learned my lessons.  These despicable people will only get me into further trouble.  And this woman?  This beautiful woman who got my attention the very second I saw her?   I'm going to have to spend more time with her.  I'm assuming she's going to entrap me in some complex situation that will ultimately end with her trying to kill me.  That's understandable and natural.  But I'm curious how she intends to do all of that.  

And this is one cat curiosity ain't gonna kill.  

No comments:

Post a Comment