Saturday, August 9, 2014

Learning to Be a Human 101

Some people just need to be killed. 

Seriously, killing isn't always a bad thing.  In fact, I'm willing to believe that everybody has wanted to kill somebody at least once in their lives.  I know I have. 

I got into some hot water once in a college history class.  I had to give a presentation about lynchings and I made the case for how lynchings really weren't all that bad.  I said, "just because somebody was lynched, it didn't mean they were wrongfully accused or didn't have it coming.  Some people needed to by lynched."  My professor got angry and tried to make it about race.  I corrected him and reminded him that most of the people lynched were white.  It's not about race, it's about somebody that just can't seem to stop fucking up, and it's time to get rid of them.  

Here's the thing--if you think about all the people you've wanted to kill, and all of that anger and rage, how do you feel about killing them now?  I'm willing to wager that in 99.99999% of those cases, you are glad you didn't do it because upon cooling off you realized it wasn't the best way to handle those situations. 

But what about those .0000001%? 

Those shitheads who, for some reason, really need to be killed.  Let's face it, some folks need killin'. 

In some rural areas today, you can kill somebody and be arrested, go in front of a judge and simply say, "Your Honor, he needed killin'."  And then you plead your case as to why.  More often than not, you'll be let go with a warning or some token conviction for loitering or jay-walking. 

Sadly not every part of America is as enlightened and if you kill somebody you will be convicted as if the idiot you killed was really a person.  And we all know that some of these assholes aren't really people, just meat bags waiting to be unplugged from the trough. 

I always get a laugh when I read about somebody who was, "murdered in cold blood" as if that matters.  To me, that just means it was efficient and effective.  What better way to get rid of somebody than when they're sitting on the toilet?  We really do have a lot of stupid social rules about when and where you can kill somebody.  Killing is killing--why be a pansy about it? 

I used to think the biggest reason I didn't go on a killing spree was because I just didn't feel I was smart enough to avoid getting caught.  But then one day, a friend of mine once said as an offhanded remark, "Yeah, but that asshole probably has somebody in this world who cares about them and prays they learn to turn their life around so they'll stop being an asshole." 

That didn't really make me pause much then, but it does now, and it that makes me uncomfortable.  Is this empathy I'm feeling?  I hope not, it feels icky. 

But it also makes me wonder a bit.  Killing is permanent.  It sticks.  You cannot unkill somebody.  Once that head leaves the body, it is all over, and no doctor can sew it back on.  Or at least sew it on so it works again.  I've heard stories about these Russian scientists, but those are only rumors, so I won't get my hopes up.

So yeah, killing is for keeps.  Knowing this, I wonder about all the people I have wanted to kill, but just couldn't because of those pesky laws.  A detective might not be smart, but the system they work for is, and you can never beat a system.   In a way, it's a good thing we have that sort of mechanism in place in our culture, because it keeps people from making permanent solutions to temporary problems.   We should spend tax dollars on that system so fewer folks make those choices and more people choose something like, I don't know, not killing.  Not killing is a good thing. 

Not killing can be the right choice. 

Wow, did I just learn a lesson about life?  Worse, is this horrible, disgusting feeling I have about the people I used to hate empathy?  Is there a drug I can take to get rid of it? 

It feels....bad.  

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